AAaaaah!

Okay, what I want is to stop talking about the elections for five minutes, but...JESUS CHRIST, did anynody catch this yesterday?

Shortly after Florida had been painted red for Mr. Bush, Fox News declared that Ohio--and, very likely, the presidency--was in Republican hands. Howard Wolfson, a [Kerry] strategist, burst into the "boiler room"...and said, "we have 30 seconds" to stop the other networks from following suit. The campaign's pollster, Mark Mellman, and the renowned organizer Michael Whouley quickly dialed ABC, CBS, CNN and NBC--and all but the last refrained from calling the race through the night.

They even got bonus oral sex treatment from Dan, who could shut the fuck up about it being the closest election in history (which it wasn't by half), and of course the magic provisional ballots waiting to pull it out for Kerry (which, of course, they couldn't).

(via the Corner)

And from Ratherbiased we get Rather turning on Dippity Dog #2 for daring to employ a calculator.

If %80 of the provisional ballots go Democrat, says Bradley, the democrats will make up only 140,000 votes, and that's still not enough.

"So what are you telling us?" Dan asks, daring Ed Bradley to "agree with Karl Rove."

"Based on these numbers," Ed says meekly, "after the provisional ballots have been counted, Bush will have won."

Dan, verbatim:

"We shall see."